My darling, darling, crazy mom.
She's ... a mature adult now. I WILL NOT say her age. She may be .... mature, but she'd find a way to kick my sorry butt long-distance if I did.
But the funny thing. .... Ready for it?
She keeps saying, "Oh, now that we're old, your dad and I ... (fill in the blank)."
Some of the blanks are filled with:
"We're easily amused."
"We like to watch the birds in the birdbath."
"We eat pizza for dinner even if it's 4 p.m."
"Sometimes we think that dessert BEFORE dinner is a good thing."
"Your dad loses his reading glasses."
"I like to take a nap in the early afternoon."
"Your father just doesn't believe that rules apply to him."
And I keep saying OVER and OVER, "Mom? Who are you KIDDING? You've been doing all these things ALL ALONG. Now you just have a convenient excuse."
She scoffs a bit, and pretends to be all old and cranky.
It's totally a ruse.