Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Weirdly Clear to Me

You know in that weird Claymation-esque Rudolph movie where suddenly Santa realizes that Rudy's nose glows, but there's this FOG which apparently only a RED light from a REINDEER would penetrate? 

Up to that point, Santa's a bit of  a douchebag.

I mean, he's all "Hey, Donner, your boy is a WeIRDO!  Keep him AWAY!  Ew!"

Then it's all "Oh, we neeeeeed you Rudolph."

It's like when somebody's so fat that you don't want him around UNTIL your nuclear power plant gets a leak and only Fat Man Flab will stop the snowball-effect Nuclear Meltdown.  THen it's all, "Hey Fatty!  You're so WONDERFUL!"

It sickens me just a tad.

I think Rudolph should have been all, "Bite me, Santa.  Fair weather friend.  I don't need you, asshole.  Clarisse and I are going to Tahiti.  Buh-bye, old man.  Good luck."