I have been working out. Yeah, I'm tough like that.
Actually, my total motivation comes from:
1: I get to shower in a bathroom that I do not have to clean.
2: I love to stretch afterwards
3: I get to SHUT UP and NOT TALK and NOT LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE and NOT ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS.
So there I was. At the YMCA. I had just finished AN HOUR on the elliptical. Booh-YAH, baybee. My reward was that I was gonna have a good stretch.
I did lots of backbends over a yoga ball, did toe-touches and Sun Salutations. Stretched ALL of it. Took my time -- probably 20 minutes or so.
Finally, I was relaxing, alternating between Child Pose, Cobra, and Cat.
Child is basically kneeling, lowering head and outstretched arms to the ground.
Cobra is lying on the tummy, back arched, arms supporting you, while you look straight up
Cat is hands-and-knees, back arched up, head down.
These are deeply meditative for me, where I tune in to whatever my body needs.
A voice filters into my brain.
I switch to Cat.
"I SAID, IS THIS WHERE PEOPLE DO STRETCHING? JACK, ASK HER IF WE ARE SUPPOSED TO STRETCH NOW?"
I breathe, lengthen my spine.
"Um! IS THAT YOGA YOU'RE DOING?"
oh. I look up. I see an older couple standing there, hands on hips, watching me.
"Sorry. I didn't realize you were talking to ME. Yes. I'm stretching and doing yoga."
I go into Child pose, breathing slowly.
"SO! DOES THAT HURT? ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO YOGA, OR CAN WE DO OTHER STRETCHES?"
I sit up.
"You can do whatever you want. It's the best part of my workout. So relaxing!"
I pull up the exercise ball and begin to do a back bend stretch over it.
"WOW! CAN I SIT ON THAT BALL?"
Um. ok. well...
I un-bend and sit up again.
"There are more over there."
BUT YOURS LOOKS THE BIGGEST.
"Sorry. I use this one because I'm doing backbends, and this one supports my back the best."
BUT IF I SIT ON A SMALL ONE, I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET BACK UP! JACK, YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE! TELL HER!
She sits on it.
I go into a butterfly stretch, typically the last one or two I do. I sit up, the soles of my feet touching in front of me, knees flat on the floor on each side. I then reach forward, head to feet, and stretch my hands as far in front as I can.
WHAT ARE ALL OF THESE MATS FOR? CAN WE JUST LAY ON THEM? JACK, HONEY, DO YOU WANT TO LAY ON ONE?
oh for Pete's sake...
ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO SIT-UPS?
"I suggest you talk to the staff here. They can walk you through everything! They're very informative."
I lay down in Corpse pose (just lying on my back, eyes closed, meditating on breathing)
YOU LOOK VERY RELAXED! DOESN'T SHE, HONEY? LOOK AT THAT.
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET WITH A STAFF PERSON EARLIER, BUT WE DECIDED WE REALLY DIDN'T NEED THAT, SINCE WE CAN JUST ASK PEOPLE.
At that point, I got up and left. And made a mental note to always, ALWAYS wear headphones, even if I'm not listening to music.