Monday, September 24, 2012

Unfortunately Hopelessly Inappropriate

Sometimes, even when (perhaps especially when) I'm trying to be sensitive to someone's feelings, I shove my size 9.5s firmly into my mouth.

Like the time a friend from grad school told me all about how her best friends were all gay men, and how rude people could be sometimes.  I, later in the conversation, said that something was "gay, but in the best possible way."  I NEVER use the word "gay" to mean anything but either homosexual or giddily happy.  Never.  But then?  That day?  Blammo. 

Then there was the student whose relative had died in an unexpected and somewhat grisly way.  During that lesson and the next one, I managed to use "dead-on," "deadly," "I'm dying here!" "you're killing me!" "one foot in the grave," and at least a few more corpse-laden words. 

Got financial trouble?  Surely, I'll talk about something "breaking the bank," or "sending me to the poorhouse."  Medical issues?  "Apple a day," "it's not like it's brain surgery!" or "that's like a CANCER in society!"  Weight struggles?  "Yo momma so FAT, she has her own ZIP code!"

What is WRONG with me? 


Saturday, September 8, 2012

Massage Is My Next Thing

I'm a brand-new Massage Therapy student!  Did I tell you that?  Yup.  I'm in a very intensive 3-semester program here in town.  I'm totally psyched.

Here's how it rolled out:

I got my transcripts to the office (I think I'm gonna win for most post-high school credits in an applicant this year), and sent in my ONE PAGE application.  And tah-DAH, I was in.  It was absolutely the easiest college application I've ever done. 

Classes started -- theoretically -- on Aug. 26.  I showed up to class, and found 5 other people there also waiting.  We waited and waited, to no avail.  Whoops.  Class didn't start until Monday.

Our first class was on Monday, and was Body Systems for Massage.  Basically, "here's what is under the skin that you're rubbing!"  I love it.  I got to say "golgi bodies" out loud!  For a good reason!  I was very satisfied.

The next day was hands-on Massage I.  We simply chose partners and put our hands on them and ... felt.  Just stood still and touched their backs, their heads, their spines.  We breathed.  We thought.  It was... fantastic. I felt natural doing it.

I am delighted.