Sunday, January 22, 2012

Talking To The Kitty Litter (Evidence of Sanity or Not?)

I love to shop at the grocery store -- when I can be alone.  I like it because I can have long, drawn-out conversations with myself OUT LOUD.  And really, nobody notices.  The reason for this is (I have done my research) that many MANY other people do the same thing.

My conversations with myself go like this.
"Ok.  What was it again?  Beef for roasting? Yes."
"DANG! Was it also milk? Do I need milk? Probably.  Also carrots.  AND LETTUCE! Don't forget the lettuce. Again.  AND -- don't buy any MORE OATMEAL.  You keep getting oatmeal and we've got packages in the cabinet."
"OH! Dog food! ... If it's on sale."
"LETTUCELETTUCELETTU... oooh - mangoes!"

"Milk?  Yes. Milk."

and so on.

This all goes on out loud, in a relatively full voice.  But having worked at this Kroger, I know firsthand how typical it is to encounter someone talking to the Shake 'n' Bake or the GoGurt.

Well, as is normal for me, I can't quite stop at "enough is enough."  Sigh.

I was reminding myself to by dog food ("dogFOOD. DOGFOOD! dog... fooood") and I encountered a man (probably in his 50s) standing there, tapping his front teeth with the fingernail on his index finger while talking in the direction of the kitty litter.
Because, apparently, I Never Learn My Lesson, I chuckled and said to him, "Well, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who talks to myself in the grocery store!"

He patted his round belly with both hands for a second then boomed, "Well, that's what you're SUPPOSED to do!  God tells us to talk to ourselves because that's how we talk to GOD!  And that's how Jesus talks to US!  And if you want salvation, you're gonna talk to Him and let him TELL YOU THINGS!"

Um. Whuck?

He kept talking towards the kitty litter while gesturing between me and his belly, and I did that narrow-the-eyes, tilt-the-head thing and I asked the only question that leapt to mind:

"So, what's Jesus telling  you about the kitty litter?"

And HE had the nerve to look at me like _I_ was crazy.

1 comment:

V said...

LOL, that is a bit strange. And I ALWAYS talk to myself in the store. What's worse is that I constantly talk to my 1 and 3 year old about what we need and they just stare at me like whaaaaaat?