Sunday, August 14, 2011

Dreaming Some New Dreams

My typical anxiety dream for my entire adult life has been like this:

I find myself at the University of North Texas (where I actually DID do my graduate work).  The buildings are huge, and I realize I haven't been to my classes.  I keep trying to find the office that will help me find my schedule.  I give up and just go looking for my class -- which I don't know WHAT it is, or where.  Or when.  And if I do find it? My teacher scolds me and I have no seat, and so on.  And I usually wake up in a cold sweat.  Nobody will help me.  Nobody gives me directions.  I try to talk and my voice gets softer and softer until there is no sound at all.  Just air.

In the last two nights, they have been different.  I have landed in odd places and situations (like last night, I was cast as the "everyman" in a play).  But now I am being helped by people.  I am finding my way!  I am a bit nervous, but excited by trying new things.  I ask for help -- I tell people, "Yes, I know.  I don't know how to do this yet, but if you teach me .... if you SHOW me, I'll get it!"  And then, I do.  I figure it out.  I succeed. 
I find my way to the dressing room where there is a costume that fits perfectly.  I get into character.  I'm there on time.  My co-actor is happy with me.  He laughs.  I laugh.  I enjoy it.

This has NEVER happened.

I am So excited.

1 comment:

More Than Fluffy Bunnies said...

Love the sign of new things to come!!